Dear Wedding Scrooge (An Open Letter)
Updated: Jul 16, 2020
You're right, my wedding is "just one day." It is "just a party" and I should really spend "more on my marriage than on my wedding." You're right.
Every rite of passage is "just" what it is.
Your 18th birthday was just one day. Your graduation was just a ceremony. Your funeral will be just a party. You should really spend more on your baby than on your baby shower (as if the decades to come won't balance a single day's expenses).
It's easy to be cynical and see it that way.
It's much more inspiring to see it as something more.
In a world of insisting that experiences are worth more than items, who can deny the worth of a wedding?
The money spent on a wedding is not to buy the materialistic: the venue or the cake. It is to buy the memories.
A last dance with Grandma; seeing your dad's happy tears; photos with people you see once a decade... These are the experiences that a wedding encourages.
Because your wedding is about your family celebrating together - your *entire* family, blood and inlaws - for the first time in history.
Your wedding is the very last chance your family has to celebrate You, and the very first chance they have to celebrate Y'all.
It is just one day that is not "your" birthday, or "your" graduation - it is Y'alls Wedding. It is one day that is about the joyous joining of two hearts, two families, two lives, forever.
Of course, your wedding will be memorable regardless of what you spend. This is just one day that will alter the course of your life so, naturally, you will look back on it.
When you do, wouldn't you rather look back on something beautiful? You will get more joy from a beautiful memory than from the knowledge that you saved a lot of money that day.
Your family will look back on your wedding, also. It altered the course of their lives as well.
What do you want them to think of, when they imagine the start of your 'happily ever after'? They will get more joy from a meaningful celebration than from a budget obligation.
Y'alls wedding is a big deal.
Your wedding is "just" the biggest day in your entire adult life, and "just" the day your parents have dreamed of since you came home with your first crush.
It is "just one day" that changes the course of two entire family trees.
It is "just a party" to celebrate true love and life-long commitment.
(And it does cost less than a marriage, in money and energy. I won't even entertain that one.)
So, Scrooge, if it's selfish, or spoiled, or stupid to spend a little money on "just one day" that is this big of a deal... Then let me be selfish, spoiled, and stupid. You aren't invited, anyway.